Sketchy character prompts different rendition of childhood song

After turning her car around from observing a sketchy character looming in front of a questionable apartment building, a woman who was about to inspect a possible apartment for rent envisioned a more ghetto version of the friendly, childhood song "people in your neighbourhood". Fuh shizzle y'all.

Man chooses to risk getting hit by car over coffee spillage

Man takes his life into drivers hands as he slowly crosses a busy street against the light with coffee and donut in hand. In a strange balance of decisions, it seems the option of waiting for the light to change did not appear a rational choice to him. Perplexing.

Coffee & donut mobility problem hits another part of town

Coffee and donut mobility problem continues in another part of town. Woman on subway makes move to get out of train first, but then holds everyone back as she moves slowly down the path in the middle so as not to spill her coffee or drop her donut.

Possible new opening at zoo?

After reading about a 41-year-old rhino that had to be corralled back into it's zoo quarters,because it got loose due to someone not securing the gate, reader suspects there might be a new opening at a zoo in Jacksonville, Florida. One of the key qualifications to be noted on application is "check locks on gate get locked", not just "check locks on gate".
Check out the story at: Archie the Rhino

Man distracts wife with large bag of chips

Elderly man in grocery store line up tried to sneak large “family size” bag of chips onto checkout belt, failing miserably as his wife shot him a suspicious look and onlookers giggled at his sad attempt. However, bag of chips turned out to be distraction to chocolate bars he weaseled into purchase without wife noticing. Clever.

Man suspected of checking nose hairs in elevator mirror

Man in elevator stands so close to mirrored elevator door, witness suspects he was looking to see if he had any nose hairs looming out of his nose. Maybe he had a meeting to go to or about to approach a woman he likes. Whatever. Guy, go check it out in the BATHROOM, not the EL-E-VATOR.

Office air good enough to be anti-persperant

Dry "quality" corporate office air and old pair of contacts have woman briefly thinking this kind of dryness would work much better as underarm deodorant protection the way it dries out eyes.

New meaning to relationship phrase brought on by supportive garments

Article about Cougars increasing sales for lingerie brings to mind that all those supportive padded undergarments look great with clothes on. However, they also bring a new meaning to the phrase “we’ll see where things go” when supportive garments eventually come off in the bedroom.

Lunch, bathroom style

Some people's children don't understand about good food practices. After witnessing woman who works on the same floor bringing food into the bathroom, witness couldn’t help but to suggest not resting it in the main bathroom area. After receiving an unappreciative look in response, witness figured that person isn’t likely to take good advice anyway. Go ahead! Eat your bathroom lunch, dirty girl. ... Yuck! Some people's children.