Local woman considers new way of warding off crazy people in public

After a few attempts to move away from crazy person who kept talking and giggling out loud to herself beside local woman trying to enjoy an exhibit, local woman seriously considers the risk of appearing slightly crazy herself by carrying around water pistols loaded with Perrier to ward off crazy people in public who get too close. Local woman considered the idea of loading the water pistols with holy water, but it wouldn't be as easily accessible as Perrier.

Onlookers drive home with stunned faces from vision in parking lot

Onlookers in parking lot were left with stunned faces when their images of who owned a big bright pink SUV with tinted windows in the community center parking lot when they saw androgynous abominable couple with army-patterned jacket approach and drive away in it. It took some time for onlookers’ jaws to close, raised eyebrows to settle back down, and eyes to go back in their heads as they drove home in that state.

Employee looks forward to buying new socks with bonus money

After finding out that the bonus this year is a bit more than last year, employee got excited that apart from paying bills, she can get new socks and still have something decent left over.

VP passes out in office

After responding to the start of a chain of senseless “reply all” emails that it was not necessary to
a) "reply all", and
b) respond at all
email responses continued to flow in that unintended email was not intended from individuals, VP hits head against desk a bit too hard and passes out in office.
VP later woke up to bombardment of “I don’t think this email was intended for me either” responses, but was able to resist passing out again.

Potato Princess strikes again; leaves people stupefied and befogged

The Potato Princess strikes again in leaving people stupefied by her actions. Mother of two finds herself befogged as to what she's going to do with ONE flippin' potato that unwelcome guest bought during grocery run. Really Potato Princess? ONE potato?!

Local woman decides not to get GPS unit

After local woman realizes she doesn’t really need a GPS unit (despite tempting price), she is relieved at the thought that people don’t call out “recalibrating” when changing direction or their mind, like GPS units do. Why do GPS units need to announce they're recalibrating anyway especially as it just told you to "turn right now"?

Employee finds way to deflect death rays

Frustrated employee finds way to temporarily deflect death rays from a hostile co-worker. Other co-workers secretly sigh in relief as hostile co-worker takes time off because they know it’s a break from deflecting death rays. Employees suspect part of reason hostile co-worker took time off was to heal from shooting herself in the foot with one of her own death rays.

Worker catches herself before uttering "certain words" to song

While listening to music at work, employee getting caught up in catchy tune caught herself before blurting out words “I’m horny, horny, horny.” That would’ve been really hard to explain. No matter how hard she might have tried to explain, it just would NOT be a good picture.