Building maintenance employees attempt to intimidate microwave ovens

Building maintenance employees believed that by pacing up and down in front of out of order microwaves, it would intimidate microwaves to start working again. Onlookers suspect that microwaves were laughing internally at maintenance employees.

Local woman considers carrying sign to seek out heavy breathing old guy

After discussing an experience involving a heavy breathing older guy who made a bee-line to interrupt local woman on bench at the beach, local woman considers actually bringing along cardboard sign that reads "seeking heavy breathing old guy" to see if they might (and hopefully) fall into the category of when you're looking for one, they're never around.

Stoneware chef switches terms greasy and unclean to "seasoning" to make it more appealing

Guest at a chef function finds herself weary and turned off when she realizes what makes stoneware food tasty is by "seasoning" the stoneware with grease and not washing it. Basically, it comes down to some clever (and dirty) chef decided that by changing the description of something greasy and unclean to "seasoned" it sounds more appealing and acceptable. Sorry, not falling for it. Greasy and dirty is greasy and dirty I don't care how you try to disguise it. Seasoning? Really? So if you don't clean your floors and you drop stuff on it, doesn't that make the floor "seasoned"?

Former landlady employs high hopes by using monk to deal with crumbling house

Former tenant suspects former landlady of dealing with flooding basement and crumbling house after all the rain by tossing rubber ducky, toy boat, and a monk down in the basement. That’s right. A monk. Same landlady is probably hoping monk will save her house instead of actually doing the work to fix it.

Woman makes mad dash to get on bus

Woman makes mad dash for bus against the light on busy street. Onlooker wonders why on earth would someone be so excited as to risk their life to get on public transit. It's just a bus. Nothing exciting there, just other people trying to reason why they were so eager to get on the bus.