Co-workers fear for employee's crumb dislodging

As volume and frequency of an employee's incessant throat clearing increase, surrounding co-workers wonder and almost fear when crumb from 1975 will eventually emerge. New workers to environment wasn't sure what it was at first. One new worker considered it couldn't be human; it must be an odd office sound effect that emanated in random loud bursts.

Man attempts to disguise bad B.O. with sunglasses

A man in a grocery store was discovered to be confused and wrong in how to disguise bad body odor. Instead of using soap, man chose to attempt hiding body odor behind sunglasses. Unfortunately woman standing next in line recognized bad funk through camouflage and had nothing to shield herself from it. Woman was tempted to inform smelly man with sunglasses where soap aisle was. Then, on second thought, she sensed that the man would probably not recognize what soap was or how to use it.

Customer nearly gets taken out by box as clueless employees carry on

While two clueless employees discuss “what are you doing this weekend?” “I don’t know, what are you doing this weekend?” nearby customer struggles with box and nearly has it fall on top of her. Customer envisions getting flattened by box and clueless employees only reaction would be “did you hear something? … So what are you doing this weekend?”

Building maintenance employees attempt to intimidate microwave ovens

Building maintenance employees believed that by pacing up and down in front of out of order microwaves, it would intimidate microwaves to start working again. Onlookers suspect that microwaves were laughing internally at maintenance employees.

Local woman considers carrying sign to seek out heavy breathing old guy

After discussing an experience involving a heavy breathing older guy who made a bee-line to interrupt local woman on bench at the beach, local woman considers actually bringing along cardboard sign that reads "seeking heavy breathing old guy" to see if they might (and hopefully) fall into the category of when you're looking for one, they're never around.

Stoneware chef switches terms greasy and unclean to "seasoning" to make it more appealing

Guest at a chef function finds herself weary and turned off when she realizes what makes stoneware food tasty is by "seasoning" the stoneware with grease and not washing it. Basically, it comes down to some clever (and dirty) chef decided that by changing the description of something greasy and unclean to "seasoned" it sounds more appealing and acceptable. Sorry, not falling for it. Greasy and dirty is greasy and dirty I don't care how you try to disguise it. Seasoning? Really? So if you don't clean your floors and you drop stuff on it, doesn't that make the floor "seasoned"?

Former landlady employs high hopes by using monk to deal with crumbling house

Former tenant suspects former landlady of dealing with flooding basement and crumbling house after all the rain by tossing rubber ducky, toy boat, and a monk down in the basement. That’s right. A monk. Same landlady is probably hoping monk will save her house instead of actually doing the work to fix it.