Local man considers drawback to getting neck tattoo for career change element

After taking a trip out to Eastern Canada and checking out the white "gangstas" hanging out in parking lots of independently owned gas stations, local man considers a change in career to possibly become a gangsta himself. Apart from the change in clothing style to wearing flannel pants in public and having his own hours, the main drawback he considered was how is mother would handle it if he were to get a tattoo on his neck. Or would she expect him to put "Mom" on the neck tattoo? Of course, if he chose to change careers again, it would be awfully hard to hide that tattoo.

Employee working in corporate building considering bringing in own toilet paper

Even though a corporate building completely renovated two bathrooms for one of the companies occupying it with self-flushing toilets, hands-free sinks and soap dispensers, along with super powerful hand dryers, unfortunately the cost seems to have had an effect on the standard of toilet paper being stocked in the bathrooms across the board. Even though the quality of the bathroom has gone up, the toilet paper quality has gone down to mere sandpaper-like cheap paper. Employee wonders if other co-workers may secretly be considering bringing in better quality paper, but don't want to admit the toilet paper is a killer on the butt.

Tenant uncertain if actual beeping alarm woke her or if it was the neighbours below

Upon bolting out of sleep state, tenant wasn’t entirely sure if it was the sound of her alarm clock beeping or the people in the apartment below that woke her in the morning. While the arguing sounds were effective, tenant wondered if there was a way to change the sound of their arguing to something a bit more pleasing to wake to?
Tenant really needs to get a move on buying sound muffling rug for bedroom.

Driver suspects sandwich shop posted sign in literal sense

On the way to work, a driver noticed a posting on a sandwich store sign that read “Visa, MasterCard taken here”. Driver imagined the expression on customers faces if sandwich shop was being literal because most shops accept major credit cards, they don't usually take them. Driver decided she wouldn't be using her credit card at that sandwich shop anyway; just something sketchy about the place and wouldn't doubt if they actually DID take credit cards.

Woman suspects man warding off vampires

Woman suspected man getting into elevator must be trying to ward off vampires with the amount of garlic fumes that were emanating off of him. Either that or he was partaking in some kind of vampire slayer fun and games day involving a garlic dousing competition. From the stench of garlic, it is very possible he got his vampire because even a non-vampire was ready to flee from the stench. Woman in elevator was partially relieved when stinky garlic man got off the elevator before she did. Unfortunately, garlic funk remained in elevator and woman had to hold breath for another two floors.

IKEA shopper tempted to make random announcement

IKEA shopper tempted to make announcement: Attention IKEA shoppers! Why? Not for any other reason than to wake them from stopping in middle of aisles. Shopper suspects those are the same people that stop on the highway to stare at the lonesome shoe tossed off on the side, make everyone s-l-l-l-l-o-o-o-w-w right down and then carry on after creating a line of traffic.