Lazy waitress tips herself

After dining at a nice restaurant, lazy waitress decides to tip herself by not bringing the change back to the customer; disappearing from sight. Customer sensed there was something wrong with the waitress earlier on when she smelled something wafting ever so lightly from the waitress, but couldn't determine the actual scent until after. While driving home, customer realized the smell coming off the waitress was eau du lazy. Meanwhile, at the restaurant, other servers are a bit befuddled as to how the lazy waitress gets such great tips for ignoring her customers.

Finger puppets just as effective in not solving workflow issues, but more fun

Corporate managers decide to hide inability to answer direct questions by attempting to distract group with making lots of department meetings and “team building functions” that address everything but actual issues posed to them by department members. As it turns out, finger puppets are just as or possibly slightly more effective in not solving workflow issues, but are more entertaining in their ability to not resolve issues. Additionally, finger puppets prefer quicker distraction methods, such as the surprise pop-up at the corner of a cubicle and wiggle distraction.

Employees miss repeating news on lunchroom screen

Employees find that although the reboot message and/or the stripes appearing on the TV screen in corporate lunchroom are strangely eye catching, employees actually miss seeing the same news entries repeated over and over again along with the incorrect or outdated weather; 'this just in ... again' news stream has been interrupted and replaced with a stationary reboot message; it just sits there with the cursor blinking, staring, and waiting ... anyone?

Delusions of youth and grandeur overtake men's brains

Delusions of grandeur overtake man driving modern day station wagon (now referred to as a “cross-over” vehicle for those who don’t want to acknowledge they are driving a family-style car), making him think he's "all that" while he tail gates and cuts off people in traffic.
In related news of delusions, man getting into elevator of residential building thinks he is 70’s porn star acting as postal worker. Woman sharing elevator was certain the only part of the 70’s postal worker had with him was the tired smell of old alcohol and cigarettes wafting off him, and that if you shook him dust from the 70’s would probably come loose.

Residential area hookers debate who will represent at community meeting

Residential area hookers discuss amongst themselves if one of them will attend community meeting about hookers on inapproriate street corners in Toronto suburb -- near elementary school. Neighbours in area hope hookers might plan walk out if forced to new corner.

Raccoon shares same attitude as home owner

Raccoon breaks into garage over night. A couple days later, when owner whose attitude is usually described as 'meh' opened garage to put turned over garbage back in bin, raccoon hanging out in garage barely acknowledged owner, giving her his own rendition of 'meh'.