Group of coworkers band together for petition to isolate or force early retirement on throat clearing co-worker

After major eruptions that helpless coworkers had to bear through the previous week, group of coworkers band together for petition to isolate or force early retirement on throat clearing clueless coworker who refuses diplomatic requests to knock it off already. Apparently that crumb from 1965 is STILL working its way up through the passive aggressive tubes. It was nearly up and out a week ago, but sadly it only shifted to a new place for more rounds of incessant throat clearing eruptions. Neighbouring coworkers almost passed out at their desks from wanting to bang their heads on desks. Other coworkers lost some hair while trying to hang onto their sanity as best they could without creating their own eruption.